Intercultural Communication

Of all the papers I have written while attending Ashford University this paper has by far been my favorite.

The most intriguing part of this interview has been realizing that the real study for me has not been familiarizing myself with my subject’s journey involving intercultural communication but understanding the intercultural communication between him and me. We have always had beautiful discussions about life, politics, religion, etc. and though we may not always see eye to eye I respect him and what he has to say, as he respects me. This interview has been such an enlightening experience and I am so grateful I have found a subject I can learn so much from.

Russell Feldman is my mother’s fiancé. He has been in my life for seven years and I have loved gaining insight into his life. Russell is from South Africa. He was born in Bulawayo, Southern Rhodesia, which then became Zimbabwe. He moved to the United States when he was twenty-three (the same age as I am now) in 1978 and is now fifty-three. Russell and I have always gotten along but we have strong convictions and beliefs that are very different. Though he loves America, he speaks of South Africa with great fondness. Speaking to him I catch a glimpse into a time filled with prosperity; a time where men were the breadwinners and women were the homemakers. I can visualize him and his sister sitting down every night with his parents to a meal of potatoes and meat, for fast food was inconceivable.

His earliest memory was at the age of three living in his house in Bulawayo. He recalls playing in the garden, with his Nanny Elizabeth and the gardener. He can recall no “hugely” vivid experience but a few smaller instances such as, “My sister riding her bike and my telling her that there was a spider on the bike- she fell off… my mother making us paper wings and I thinking I could fly and running and jumping off an embankment, no injury, but gravity prevailed”. He also remembers, “Watching a parade of the King’s African Rifles. A black regiment with loyalty to her majesty”. This is a moment when I must reflect on the obvious fact that his life and mine has been extremely different. He speaks of African Rifles and this is something I cannot fathom ever being a part of my ordinary everyday life.

During the interview I realized I never asked him why he moved to America. With genuine curiosity I asked him and he states, “When I first came here it was because of the political instability in Africa but it was a drop in the standard of living”. He felt compelled to move here because of the struggle occurring in South Africa. His home in South Africa was so wonderful and prosperous he felt moving here was downgrading, so to speak.

Though he speaks with a South African accent there is no difference in language because South Africans speak English. He states, “The African (black) people spoke a variety of languages as they were dispersed among a variety of tribes”. He speaks of religion as it being the same. He is Jewish (a small minority) and “there are the usual divisions of the protestant faith as well as Catholicism. The Indian immigrants were mainly Hindu, Sikh, and some Muslims. Many blacks had been converted to Christianity but incorporated tribal spiritualism into their new found faith. The use of magical, “Muti” or medicine applied or prescribed by witch doctors was common among Native Black Africans”. I am blown away by how readily he can discuss this information.

Family custom is a good example of something that may not entirely have had to do with the difference in cultural but with the difference in the times. Russell states, “Family custom is also similar as all is based in a Western European/American Culture. However, the similarity becomes blurred because of the following, the family was more formal i.e. everyone knew their place; children were far more respectful and were not nearly as loud and brash as they are now because they followed the dictates of their family, not friends. Mostly only the husband worked and the wife was the homemaker which was more a sign of the times than any cultural differences”. Instead of staying indoors “we were all outdoors, as we had no television, no computers, and no cell phones”.

The way he describes it, work was seemingly ideal. He states, “There was far more quality time for family. Everyone received one month vacation per year, no matter how long your tenure. One did not work as long or as hard. Retail stores closed Saturday at midday and did not re-open until Monday. There was much more family time and time at home”. This sounds beautiful and at this point I am internally wondering why he loves America so much if his childhood and past was so great.

The media played a small role in his life and views of his culture. He states, “Colonial Africa was at first a clash of cultures i.e. an advanced and highly technical “white” culture and a primitive and very tribal black culture. Later, these differences were used to fuel an ideological struggle during the cold war and again later the emergence of Black Nationalism and the quest to independence which again led to this cultural clash. The media then, as now, seldom told the truth. Therefore, I do not rely on the media to support or contest my views”. When it came to his views on males and females there was, again, no media influence. He states, “Views were different because times were different. The work place was male dominated as was sports and politics, etc. The roles and responsibilities between male and female were clearly defined”.

It seems to me a good bit of propaganda was happening on many levels. Morgan Tsvangirai states, “The political climate continues to be marred by unfortunate and vicious propaganda that emanates from the state media” (Shamu & Tsvangirai, 2009). It seems to me that the media in Zimbabwe has not changed for the better. It still leans toward a flawed way of execution. Instead of promoting communication and truth there is a good deal of manipulation.

This is this point in the interview that I am most eager to learn more about. I am extremely pro-equality for everyone and Russell has always been a lot more closed- minded on this point, or so I have thought. When we begin the discussion on race and ethnicity I am very interested to find out more thoroughly where his views of ethnicity stemmed from. He states, “In Southern Africa the “black man” could not compete in a high tech white society. Black culture here had not even progressed to a written language. They wore animal skins and threw spears. I do not say this to jeer or mock. It was what it was. They were a conquered people. Their land was gone and they were forced to adapt to a white society as best they could. They became the ‘white man’s burden’ but also his labor, and cheap labor at that. The superiority of white over black was clear. Look at our skyscraper- look at his mud hut”. When I began this part of the interview I braced myself to hear what he stated but he did not say it in a derogatory manner, and seemed to simply be stating things as he saw them to be. It was fact to him and to many people who lived there.

Our text states, “Culture has a much greater effect on the perception process than on sensation itself” (Jandt, 2009, p.63). His culture has deeply affected his perception on the world. Not only his upbringing but what he has seen with his own two eyes has formulated his beliefs and convictions. He brings up the point that during the time he lived in South Africa, “We were going through a similar time in America with Civil Rights. It was forced upon both countries; in America there were marches and in South Africa there were embargoes”. It was a natural progression towards a shift in integration. Of course it would have been ideal for it to occur more smoothly, but people were scared of change. I expressed to him that many people expressed blind hatred from fear of the unknown and change; that not everyone held beliefs through informed understanding, such as him.

When I think of apartheid I think of a time filled with anger and discontentment. Talking to Russell has given me a more open understanding of both sides of the equation. He states, “One of the main reasons for apartheid was the Africans themselves. There were four million whites and forty-million blacks, give or take a few. If we gave them equality on the vote, they would take the country. One man one vote, we had a democracy but only amongst whites. South Africa was a hugely successful economic country. When we saw countries around us that gained their independence like Mozambique and Angola (on our borders) we saw total chaos when they became ‘black run countries’. Mozambique had a twenty-five year civil war, two and a half million dead; Angola, two million dead in a twenty year civil war which was why apartheid flourished. It was an institution brought upon the Africans by themselves by what we saw around us. We couldn’t give them control of the government even though they were the majority. Where I grew up was the breadbasket of Africa. Inspiration comes from profit”. I can see his perspective more than I thought I would. Cynthia Tucker states, “In 1980, the apartheid regime of Rhodesia gave way to a black-led Zimbabwe. And in 1994, the first multiracial elections in South Africa delivered the presidency to a black man, the longtime anti-apartheid activist Nelson Mandela” (Tucker, 2008). It is interesting to consider both sides of the equation. Russell considers my generation to be brainwashed and so I am definitely questioning whether I have been or not. I feel my beliefs are my own but I know nurture and society had a lot to do with it.

Russell brought up a good point that I had not considered until our interview. He equates “black people” in South Africa to Mexicans in America today. He states, “I see the ‘white-man’s burden’ now with Mexicans. We don’t want to point fingers. I’m seeing the same thing, having seen it before, I can recognize it. It’s an evolution, there’s nothing wrong with it. I didn’t make the world so I’m not responsible for it”. Russell would like for me to clarify that though he did not feel guilty for apartheid, he did feel compassion for the people involved. He states, “I believe that everyone should have the right to happiness and equal opportunity”. If that analogy is accurate, I do not feel pity for Mexicans entering America. I am glad they are being given a chance to flourish. The big difference is that they are immigrating during a very different time than when apartheid occurred in South Africa. There is more tolerance and patience from people, and yet they are still being met with resistance.

An article from The Washington Times states, “Zimbabwe is to South Africa what Mexico is to America” (Washington Times, 2002). This puts Russell’s perspective into a more understandable point of view for me. People from Mexico are coming to America to be given a chance to flourish and change their lives, to make money to send home to their families, and to be given an opportunity. Though this is going on in my country, it does not mean I am a racist. Though apartheid was going on during the time Russell was in South Africa, does not mean he is racist. He saw it as “black men and women” being given a chance to succeed.

The more I talk to Russell the more I realize that he thinks everyone has the capability of succeeding. He does not think people should blame a lack of success on their ethnicity. Andrew Kenny states, “Black Africans try to reduce all human existence to a simple morality tale in which the white man is the source of all evil and misfortune” (Kenny, 2005). This is a very strong opinion. I do not know its accuracy because I have not done a study. It made me feel a sense of how Russell feels. He has mentioned before that he does not cut people slack because of their ethnicity. He has a high standard for people. He wakes up every morning at 3:30am and works a ten to twelve hour shift usually six days a week. He has high expectations of people and high standards. This is why he does not think people should blame their inadequacies on their ethnicity or skin tone or how people see them. Everyone is human and not every single struggle is skin deep. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, regardless of where we came from.

Sue Lowe speaks of a woman from Zimbabwe who went to speak to a group of students stating, “They were doubtful when she told them she was old enough to be their grandmother and impressed when she told about African women who could walk for miles with a pot of water on their heads, their arms full of firewood and their babies on their backs” (Lowe, 2000). It is incredible to me the lengths people can go to survive. We all have our daily struggles and hardships but when I read about this woman I felt very pampered and spoiled. The woman, Shambare, “wore native garb including a circlet of fruit seed on her head and anklets of seeds and gourds. Her wide bracelets were covered with beer bottle lids folded over and filled with seed so they made a noise when she clapped” (Lowe, 2000). I think it is beautiful this woman visited a class of children to teach them of her life. This is how intercultural communication expands and teaches. I am sure these children will never forget her story.

Though he is socially liberal, Russell is a die-hard republican which I am not. I was, therefore, very interested to understand his views on the economic system of South Africa. The way he says it makes it seem like the ideal option, a utopia. He states, “The economic system was far freer than the United States of America. Certain industries were government controlled but the “free market” and very low personal and corporate taxes led to an economy that exploded into prosperity. Even under apartheid the rising tide lifted all boats, e.g. more private cars were owned by blacks in Africa than all the rest of Africa combined (excluding Egypt)”. This subject always made me uncomfortable because it is difficult for me to understand this time in a positive light. I do, however, appreciate his ability to back up his beliefs with facts. Though we may disagree I find it to be a good thing that I can understand where he is coming from. If you cannot understand another person’s point of view then you are blind as well.

Whenever I have talked to Russell about school he reminisces fondly. He was one of two Jewish people at his boarding school. He got into a fight once because someone was insulting him, he won, and he made a lot of friends afterwards. About South Africa’s education he states, “The wearing of school uniforms was mandatory. There was far more discipline in classrooms. There was no “dumbing down” of society. The role of school was to teach. Corporal Punishment was standard in all schools”. He believes that strict discipline in schools is a good thing. He wishes there was more of it. At first this makes me uncomfortable but then I realize that he went through it in school and he says it was some of the best years of his life. Maybe it is only he who feels this way? Or maybe it was that having a high standard and harsh punishment molded him into a person who can take a step back and respect it. When I first found out he felt this way I was slightly appalled because I do not like being told what to do and knowing someone could hit me if I messed up. Maybe that is just my age and where I was born, but I can definitely understand the appeal of Russell’s perspective. Structure can be a good thing. He is a good example of that.

Talking to Russell has given me a huge dose of cultural relativism meaning, “we try to understand other people’s behavior in the context of their culture before we judge it” (Jandt, 2009, p.85). I used to think Russell was racist and always understood, on some level, that it was just how he was raised and where he came from. Well I could not have been more incorrect. Russell wishes for equality for all and appreciates the fact that everyone deserves a chance to succeed. He simply speaks in certain terms because of how he was raised. I have never heard him speak a racial slur. Though he does not believe in interracial marriage, his belief stems from his culture, the religion he was raised in and a desire for the purity of bloodlines. This does not mean he dislikes other ethnicities; just that he was raised to feel this way.

Our text brings up a good point stating, “To be competent in intercultural communication, individuals must understand the social customs and social system of the host culture. Understanding how a people think and behave is essential for effective communication with them” (Jandt, 2009, p.55). I had to throw away my convictions to stay completely open to understanding where he is coming from and truly see why he feels the way he does. I am so glad I have been effectively able to do so because I have definitely learned a lot from this experience.

His early life was good. It was prosperous and beautiful. He went to a great school, got along with his parents, and saw the beauty in art and music. He learned to have high expectations of people because his parents expected a lot of him, and he of himself. Like most countries, if you take out politics and hatred, it had all the potential in the world to be magnificent. He loves America for its freedom, high standards, and the opportunity people have here to flourish in their lives. He communicates with people in America the same way he did in South Africa. I consider him to be a very intelligent human being and not necessarily a “South African”, “American”, “Republican”, etc. He is someone whose mind is full of remarkable information about his past. He has an incredible passion for life that I admire very much.

More than anything my interview with Russell has allowed not only a better understanding of his intercultural communication but communication between himself and me. The biggest factor of intercultural communication I have found is the communication between a fifty-six year old man who came from South Africa during apartheid and a twenty-three year old woman who has grown up in America. This interview has helped me to understand more thoroughly why he believes what he believes. I was raised in a country that has overcompensated for the mistakes made in the past and thus do feel uncomfortable delving into certain topics. He speaks his mind even if it may come across as closed-mindedness. He states that he might come across as Hitler but hopefully I have done a good enough job of showing where he is coming from to reveal that is not the case. If anything his ability to be candid and honest has led me to believe that he is a lot more open than he may seem initially. I respect him for being able to be so completely honest even if it may not be received well. The biggest lesson on communication I have learned through this interview is to have completely effective communication one must release what you think that you know and truly delve into the other person’s point of view.

References
Jandt, F. (2009). An Introduction to Intercultural Communication: Identities in a Global
Community. SAGE Publications, Inc.
Kenny, A. (2005). The future looks black. The Spectator.
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Lowe, S. (2000). Pupils sample Zimbabwe culture. South Bend Tribune.
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Shamu, W. & Tsvangirai, M. (2009). Zimbabwe media rights groups outraged on release
of new state-owned daily. BBC Monitoring Africa.
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Tucker, C. (2008). A Shameful Silence on Zimbabwe. The Sun.
http://proquest.umi.com/pqdweb?index=3&did=1498721811&SrchMode=1&sid=4&Fmt=3&VInst=PROD&VType=PQD&RQT=309&VName=PQD&TS=1257219730&clientId=74379.
(2002). Zimbabwe in black and white. The Washington Times.
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